Affected by someone else's gambling

Affected by someone else's gambling: support for you

Living with someone's gambling can feel lonely and confusing. Money goes missing, stories don't add up, and you may start doubting yourself. Support exists for exactly this situation, and it's there for you even if the person gambling won't talk about it.

The National Gambling Helpline, run by GamCare, takes calls, live chats and WhatsApp messages from family and friends at any hour. GamCare's article for people affected by someone else's gambling (opens in a new tab) is a gentle place to start reading. For the full list of services, see our guide to gambling help and support in the UK.

Signs someone is gambling on their phone

Phone gambling is easy to hide because it happens on a private screen. No single sign proves anything, but a pattern is worth paying attention to.

Our page on signs of problem gambling goes further, including signs a person might notice in themselves.

How to talk to someone about their gambling

There's rarely a perfect moment, but some moments are better than others. Aim for a calm time, not straight after a loss or an argument about money.

1. Choose a private, unhurried time when neither of you has been drinking.
2. Start with what you've noticed and how it makes you feel, for example "I've noticed money is tight and I'm worried."
3. Avoid labels such as "addict"; describe behaviour instead.
4. Listen more than you speak, even if what you hear is difficult.
5. Mention that free help exists, such as the National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133.
6. Agree one small next step, such as calling the helpline together or setting a deposit limit.
7. Plan to come back to it, because one conversation is rarely enough.

If it goes badly, that doesn't mean you've failed. Many people need several conversations before they're ready to accept help.

Protecting your own money and shared finances

Your financial safety matters as much as theirs. Steps that feel unkind can actually protect the whole household, including the person gambling.

• Keep your income and savings in an account only you can access.
• Change passwords and PINs they may know, and check for cards or apps linked to your accounts.
• Avoid lending money or paying off gambling debts without a plan; debts paid quickly can free up money for more gambling.
• Get free debt advice from a charity such as StepChange (opens in a new tab) if joint debts are involved.
• Keep records of household bills and who pays what.

Credit cards can't be used to gamble with licensed operators in Great Britain, as our credit card ban explainer sets out, but debit cards, e-wallets and bank transfers can. Our budgeting guide has ideas for separating essential money from spending money.

Tools the person gambling can set up

Most blocking tools are designed to be switched on by the person who gambles. You can't usually do it for them, but you can offer to sit with them while they do it.

Our guides to GAMSTOP, bank gambling blocks and Gamban explain each one. The Gambling Commission lists banks offering blocks, including Barclays, HSBC, Lloyds Bank, Monzo, NatWest, Santander and Starling.

Things that tend to make gambling harder to tackle

When you love someone, it's natural to try to fix the problem fast. Some well-meant responses can keep the cycle going, though.

• Covering up: paying bills they've missed or making excuses can hide the cost from them.
• Bailing out repeatedly: clearing debts without changes can mean the money ends up gambled.
• Threats made in anger: ultimatums you won't keep tend to lose their meaning.
• Trying to win it back together: gambling to recover losses usually deepens them, because the house edge means losses are likely over time.
• Carrying it alone: keeping the secret takes a toll on your health.

Setting a boundary you will keep, such as "I won't lend money for any reason", is often more effective than a bigger threat.

If a child or teenager might be gambling on a phone

UK-licensed casino apps must verify a customer's age and identity before they can deposit or gamble, and even free-to-play versions of gambling games need age verification. Real-money gambling apps carry an adult rating on the App Store. Still, young people can be exposed through gambling-style games, adverts and older friends' accounts.

On an iPhone, Apple's parental controls guide (opens in a new tab) explains how Content & Privacy Restrictions let you limit app installs and set age ratings for a child's device. Our page on young people and gambling apps covers warning signs and conversations, and our guide to blocking casino apps with Screen Time walks through the settings.

Shared phones, adverts and marketing at home

If you share a tablet or phone with someone who gambles, saved logins and notifications can become triggers. Our guide on sharing a phone and casino apps covers practical fixes.

Adverts matter too. The Gambling Commission explains how to see fewer gambling ads on YouTube (opens in a new tab) through Google's ad settings, though Google doesn't promise none will appear. Operators must let customers choose which marketing they receive by product and channel, and our guide to push notifications and gambling marketing explains the options.

Looking after yourself while someone else gambles

Worry, anger, guilt and exhaustion are all common reactions. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve support whatever the other person decides.

• Talk to someone you trust, or to the helpline through GamCare's contact options (opens in a new tab).
• Keep up routines that steady you: sleep, food, time outdoors, time with friends.
• Ask about GamCare's support for family and friends; our GamCare guide lists its services.
• If your mood is low, speak to your GP; our page on gambling and mental health has more.
• If you or anyone else is in immediate danger, call 999.

When the person doesn't want help yet

You can't make someone stop gambling. What you can do is be clear about what you will and won't accept, protect yourself and leave the door open.

Let them know where help is: the National Gambling Helpline, NHS gambling clinics that take self-referrals, and Gamblers Anonymous meetings. Then keep getting support for yourself. Many people reach out only after someone close to them has quietly made the information easy to find. Our safer gambling hub gathers it all in one place.

18+. Every casino game has a built-in house edge, so over time you should expect to lose what you stake. Set a budget before you play and stop when it’s gone: safer gambling tools and support. Free, confidential help: National Gambling Helpline 0808 8020 133.